custodial methanol (buckposton) wrote,
custodial methanol
buckposton

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saturn's sex organs

because every single one of you mother fuckers are symbols. thats right everyone is just a symbol. I try. I try everyday to get past the exterior of you all. your projections of what you want to be, how you decide to come across, what cereal defines your taste buds, what kicks grace your clumsy feet, what side you part your hair, ect. ect.
I try to take all of this and acknowledge that it's just a front. that there's a core somewhere in that half hairy, half bald, mammmal vessel you've been placed in. I know you're all there but I can't tap into it. and I never will and it drives me crazy. It's like trying to find your car keys on a much bigger scale. I know what I'm looking for but I don't know where to start, the rooms too big, too cluttered.
but thats the beauty of humanity right?
thats whats so interesting about life.
trying to see what makes people tick.
but I'm so sick of it.
I want a soul.
oh god do I just want a soul.
even for a brief moment I just want to cut it all out. all the bullshit, all the second hand assumptions, all the drama of this realm, and just be real, truly real with someone, something, for a half a fucking moment.
tonight I'm sleeping with the solar system, no high profile masterbating senerios for me, the universe is my sweetheart.
holy shit am I nuts.

p.s. biccus just joined lj....... everyone say "hi biccus!"
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